You try to ignore it, a small sliver of the white wrapper peaks from the side compartment of your backpack. You can't get it out of your mind...its surfboard shape, stretchy texture and its taste...oh its taste! The thought of a mystery Airhead's taste could cause your brain to implode from the utter possibilities of this mystery treat.
Your taste buds salivate at the thought like Pavlov's dog: cherry, watermelon, green apple, orange...each flavor succulent in its own sweet, tangy manner. Your brain cells send shooting nerve impulses which light up your skull with fireworks worthy of the fourth of July.
Instinctual urges rule out the resisting force of will power, and your hand ferociously tears open the wrapper of the Airhead. You fold the Airhead in three so you can jam the entire morsel into your mouth at once. You have spent what seems like years of anticipating and waiting; you pop the sticky, tongue-shaped candy into your mouth and...YUCK, blue raspberry!
After several cleansing mouth rinses with the Listerine mouth wash that makes your eyes swell up with tears, you have finally rid your mouth of the nauseating, cookie-tossing 'blue raspberry flavor (more like blue assberry). Rightfully so, you are once again appalled by the trickery of the ever so ambiguous 'mystery flavor.'
It could be a coincidence that the mystery flavor was also the most vile tasting candy flavor aside from the much hated black licorice flavor(a taste which most will agree triggers an automatic gag reflex).
You, however, know better. This so-called 'mystery flavor' is clearly a ploy by the Perfetti Van Melle Company(the company which owns Airheads) to trick their customers into eating the less appealing Airhead flavors. The 'mystery flavor' is like a conniving politician; dressed to impress with a big smile and inherently vague answers.
"It's work the risks," senior Jordan Piel said. "Sometimes you'll get one that's sooo good, and then you hope for another of the same kind, only to be let down."
I suppose I am willing to take the appeal of the mystery flavor into consideration. Knowing what flavor you are consuming is like peeking at your Christmas presents(or any other holiday-related presents) beforehand. Eating a known flavor is like dipping your foot in a pool before jumping in. Some may see mystery flavors as a little bit of excitement in an otherwise boring lifel. So poof, if your life is humdrum eat a dum dum.
Sure, the mystery flavor seems exciting, an adventure in every wrapper perhaps. Did you consider the merciless torture you are subjecting your defenseless tastebuds to? If you step outside the glitter and appeal of the mystery flavor, you will plainly see the company's marketing scheme.
Think way back on every 'mystery flavor' your tastebuds have sampled. Do not just zone in on exclusively Airheads, many novelty candies offer this disgusting yet irresistable flavor. Think about Dum Dums, for example, with the question marks scribbled all over their tiny paper wrappers. Nine times out of ten(a completely falsified statistic), within the first lick the Dum Dum is clearly disgusting and often unidentifiable(a hybrid cross between cherry and butterscotch?).
Actually dumdumpops.com(the official website of dum dums) admits to this seemingly crazy theory.
"This mystery pop is a mixture of two flavors(the end batch of candy meets the beginning of the next batch)," the company admits. "Our candy lines are continuous and the switch over from one flavor to another results in some pops containing both flavors."
Hmm...a likely story I suppose. Consider this: perhaps the 'mystery flavor' is the company's underhand way of testing out new flavors, using the general public as their personal focus group. In that case, the candy makers out there should know that their oompa loompas are slipping up.